My Tooting Horse

By Julian P

Once, at a petting zoo yonder,

I encountered a beautiful horse and my mind began to wander.

What could this malevolent creature be thinking?

Such a large animal of splendor and grace,

What goes on just beyond that long, hairy face?

Surely it had some intelligent thoughts.

Maybe he didn’t like that his water was warm,

Or maybe he was a show horse, ready to perform.

A beauty like this couldn’t be afraid of anything.

Not buzzers that buzz or tills that go ching.

Four stylish metal shoes nailed onto his hooves to keep them from hurting.

Had he been wearing a tuxedo, one might’ve mistaken it for flirting.

A powerful back to round out his shape and complete with a saddle, so you can easily mount him.

A soft golden tail that glimmers in the sun,

One that will shake whenever he’s having fun.

But nothing is perfect, nay, this stead had one imperfection.

It occurred while his rear was pointed in another direction.

It made a remark that startled the poor thing,

And before I knew it, the horse had departed.

The horse had gotten scared

Because it farted.