Hot Dog Manifesto

Part Two

Short Story by Eevee V

Onward Harold and Anita went to the city, and without any other resistance. Soon the great creation of Uralvagonzavod found its way onto the streets of Manhattan, and Waze told them they were 5 minutes away. The police approached this newcomer and warned them not to come any closer, for no man who had entered Central Park had come out alive. The National Guard had sent in waves of troops, armed to the teeth and aided with air support. The Red Snapper gobbled up them all. Harold ignored these city dwellers, and pointed his tank towards the trees in the distance. 

As the hotdog shaped tracks left imprints in the battle-scarred mud pit that the formerly beautiful park had become, the glowing purple eyes of the Red Snapper locked onto the tank. The terrible noise that then bellowed out of its jaws was so loud as to shake Billionaire’s Row, and every joint in Anita and Harold’s bodies cracked from the vibrations. Solemn faced and steel-hearted, The King of Franks stepped out of the Abrams, hotdog sword in hand. With a battle-cry, Harold Binkly raised his hotdog sword and charged at the Red Snapper. Slash after slash the Nutmeg State Hotdogger delivered to the Hotdog Devil; however, as soon as the dust settled, the unmoving monster laughed, for it was unharmed. Harold realized that this was no regular sentient giant hotdog that he was dealing with. The Beast of Bangor had a unique red casing, so tough that no sword could pierce it. 

The great red hand of the Mainer Sausage then came down on Harold Binkly, swatting him aside like a bug. The Hotdog Peddler’s magical sword, intelligence, and courage could not help him against this beast. The great Crimson Meat Log was more powerful than he ever could have imagined, and certainly more powerful than anything he had ever encountered before. Mustering up desperate courage, Harold attacked again. Slashing and stabbing at every part of the monster, nothing worked, and he was hit by another smack by the Red Snapper. Then the Red Snapper opened its great fangs and bit off Mr. Binkly’s left arm. Mortally wounded and fallen, Harold screamed out to Anita to help.

Anita Binkly quickly loaded the gun of the hotdog tank, and fired at the Red Snapper; however, the meat log projectiles merely bounced off of the Northern Glizzy.  She realized then how to defeat the beastly weiner. The casing of red snapper hotdogs were meant to snap when heated. Anita grabbed the special ammunition, which was dosed in gasoline as to burst into fire when shot. She did not fire on the Red Snapper with that fateful shot, but at the felled trees lying around it. As the logs caught on fire, the bloody hotdog colossus saw true fear for the first time. The sizzling skin of the Maine based processed meat product grew tight, and as the monster screamed desperately, it snapped. The inner flesh of the hotdog was exposed, and the Red Snapper was weak. 

Covered in blood, Harold Binkly stood up. He picked up his hotdog sword, and led one last assault against the Red Snapper. As the fire spread and the heat became unbearable, the Prince of Weiner raised his sword high and with one strong slash, ended the Red Snapper’s life. With this final task done, Harold Binkly fell down, and died from blood loss lying next to his final foe. His hand had ended the reigns of many monsters, and his brain outwitted many villains. Knowing that his family would be safe and fed, Harold allowed himself final rest in the afterlife.

Anita Binkly collected the reward for defeating the Red Snapper, and her and Josephine lived the rest of their lives never having to worry about going hungry or being unable to pay the bills. Two marble statues were carved of Harold Binkly, with hotdog sword in hand; these were placed in Madison and Central Park. For hundreds of years since, the name of Harold Binkly was revered as the greatest warrior to ever live. As history faded into legend and myth, Harold Binkly suffered the fate of all people, and was forgotten. With the last utterance of his name, the mighty warrior Harold Binkly was lost to the ages, and was no more.