Hello?

Anonymous

They want me to be

something I’m not

something they see

something only they want.

I try and I try 

It’s never enough

work harder they say

it’s still not enough.

Sobriety is key,

If only there weren’t a fee

summit can help

trains, planes

taking me away

Mom, please don’t make me go away

the tears fall

I try to stall

We are doing this because we care

we’re doing this as an attempt to repair

I tell them they broke us

that our relationship will never be the same

why can’t they see

that all I ever did

was act away the pain

Next place was bad

no more of that

her future must stay intact

She’ll understand and the next one will be great

We’ll set the date

yes it’s expensive

and extremely intensive

just make the best of it

there is no need to be hypersensitive

it will be good for you

she’s just misunderstood

I’ll hate it, and I’ll hate you too

No, don’t worry

this is the best way

it’s fine,

we’ll still communicate

we know you are afraid

that this is unknown

We know it is hard

that you will miss home

we never meant to make you feel so alone

we just want what’s best for you

well then why can’t they see

that what is best for me

isn’t what they foresee

seizures seizures

what are these?

more problems

Problems, problems, problems

“Will we ever be free”

they’re her fault

if only our advice did she heed

failed tests

not again

can’t she give it a rest

ForGod’s sake, please?

honesty, honesty

can’t they see

if only they heard me

I can barely breathe

I’m trying, I’m trying

must I always scream

codependency

“why can’t she ever just be”

no more school for me

program time,

“you have to agree

It will help, guaranteed”

“We love you,” they say

we want you to stay

so why do you keep sending me away

ascend.

this is the end

one more time

then you will be home again

no more boarding school

that would just be cruel

why do you make promises

you will not keep

why must I always leave

why can’t you just accept defeat

you say you love me

that I should always be me

that I should never change

and that I’ll learn more with age

But if you loved me

then you would see

that your acceptance

is all I really need

And now here

One LAST time

4 months is the goal

there are no loopholes

it’s only temporary

is this all really necessary

more money

sorry honey

more therapy

more time away, temporarily

will I ever be free

to just be me

or will I always be alone

unheard, crying on the phone

I want to go home

why can’t you see

just let me leave

pretty please?

I beg

I plead

I cry

I scream

It’s always just me

I try and explain

to let them in on the pain

but they don’t listen to my cries

no one does,

no matter how hard I try