Caring is Dangerous

by Charlie Z

I was stupid to care right? You don’t care about anyone or anything right? Only yourself right? RIGHT?!? Maybe that’s true Maybe you’re just a selfish prick Maybe I never meant anything to you But I don’t want to believe that And maybe I’m too blind Or maybe I’m too kind Or maybe I’m just all together stupid But I cared And I wanted you And all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Are you happy? Why do I care? Why do I STILL care? But I do still care- so screw me for caring And I still think of you- so screw me for that too For the love of god why do I still just want you to be happy?! I just want to know if you’re happy!! Did I make ever make you happy? Did you even actually care? Do you care? Do you ever think of me? Do you still care? Are you scared? Is that why you’re never there? You just completely disappeared And left a painful mark inside my brain The only thing that reminds me that you once chose to stay Not anymore though. I felt you cared once. It was in your arms - in your touch It was in your eyes when you looked at me It was in your voice like melting honey When you comforted me and let me cry When you made me laugh and made me smile When I thought it was clear you were thinking of me Was that all fake? To perpetuate your “scheme”? Are you really as bad as they all believe? Is what they say true but I just couldn’t see? Or do you want people to think that way? Is it easier in the light of day? If everyone hates you then no one can leave If you let everyone down they stop expecting you for things If you don’t have people- you can’t be betrayed If you push everyone away- you can’t hurt them accidentally Is that what you think? Because- I once thought that too Caring is dangerous For me and for you